Thursday, January 24, 2019

Oh Death, Where is Your Sting?

I'm remembering today the passing away of my wife Nancy on Monday, December 24th. That was just a month ago today.

This photo from Mother's Day 2007 illustrates Nancy's beautiful smile. She was in the hospital for 28 days prior to her passing — Congestive Heart Failure and Atrial Fibrillation, a difficult combination for most doctors, plus some other unknown cause. Yet Nancy beamed that beautiful smile for most of those days. I told many people, the nurses, doctors and friends, to notice her smile — she was not in fear of whether the Lord would take her or whether He would have her remain on earth. She simply glowed with the Lord's radiance.

She had a heart bypass surgery about a week after entering the hospital. A few days later, they forced a tube down her nose so she could be fed intraveneously. That 45-minute procedure triggered a traumatic response where she hallucinated for three days. She didn't smile as much during those few days, she didn't complain, but she was having a rough time. She tried to introduce me to her husband (twice), noticed that the apparatus on the ceiling was moving, and wondered why that lady on the wall was adjusting the white daisies. Many other stories that don't really matter.

During the next two weeks, she was slowly removed from many of her medications. They transferred her out of the ICU and began talking about sending her to a rehab center. That was on a Friday. Saturday brought a change in her system where she became dehydrated — she refused water because it was irritating her stomach. Sunday she had two incidences of bleeding so they performed an endoscopy (through her throat) to find the cause. Before injecting the anethesia, the Holy Spirit said to me I should say goodbye for I would not speak with her again. Nancy had given up her fight for life, for she was not in fear of whether the Lord would take her or whether He would have her remain on earth. She never woke up from the anethesia.

The endoscopy revealed that the four remaining medications had caused massive bleeding to her stomach: Coumadin, Prednisone, Plavix, and Lacix. The death certificate reads multiple organ failure.

The staff at St. Joseph's Hospital was tremendous and I frequently told them so. The doctors, nurses, people in housekeeping, linen, security, cafeteria and many more, all were superb. They exhibited true Christian care, a sense of love for their work and the people that they serve. A beautiful collection of wonderful people.

Today, one month after Nancy's passing, I miss her very much. I dream nightly about her. There is a big void in my life because I increasingly became her caregiver. She was the focus of my life. Death does not have a sting over me and it definitely did not have one over Nancy. But I am thankful I had her as my wife for 21 years. I loved her dearly.